i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
