i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
3 2 1 whiskey
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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