Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
