I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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