we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
