some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
