Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I love having hate sex.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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