Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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