Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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