Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
