reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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