Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
