Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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