her facebook's as public as her vagina
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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