saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
