He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
