Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
