Bisexual people are plain selfish.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
