Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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