Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
