you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
