Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
