Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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