How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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