i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
