what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
