well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
