when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
