I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
