don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
