Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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