I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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