We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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