Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
