I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
