woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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