What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
