I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
