need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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