Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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