I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
