I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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