I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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