Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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