I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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