I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
