Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
