yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
