Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
