I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
