So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
