so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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